I can hardly believe it, but tomorrow will be my first day back to work and Griffin’s first full day of daycare. I am both excited and terrified. Griffin and I spent our last full day of maternity leave together snuggling, going for a walk, and preparing for tomorrow. I made sure to drink him in and appreciate each moment. This time together, as difficult as it was, was so special and went by so quickly.

Griffin may have sensed that change is coming. Last night he wouldnt sleep. AT ALL. He’s always been a bad napper, but by the time 8 pm rolled around he usually slipped easily into slumber. Not this time. We couldn’t get him to lay peacefully in his bed until nearly 10 and then after that he was up each hour culminating in an intense freak out at 2 am. No soothing tactics worked except for holding him close to me. So finally at 4 am, we both fell into a fitful sleep with him in my arms. I would be angry, or at least very frustrated, except for the fact that yesterday Griffin laughed with me for the first time! We were playing and I lifted him up to sit on my knees that I had raised in the air and he must have found it hilarious. It was the cutest, most perfect sound I had ever heard. It warmed my heart and everything that happened after that was ok.

Then, as if to celebrate our last day home, we got an Easter care package in the mail from my grandma. She sent Griffin an adorable children’s plate and sippy cup set, covered in farm animals with their names written in French. I adore it. She also sent me a picture of my great- grandma and I feeding swans when I was about 2 or 3. It is the exact picture, frame and all, that my grandma always had sitting in her home in Ohio. I looked at it every time I was there and now it’s mine. It made me cry. I hope Griffin has his great-grandma longer than I had mine.

Griffin has been sleeping in a bassinet in our bedroom since he was born. He’s technically supposed to stop at three months (this weekend). I don’t want to pile on all of this separation at once though (for me as much as for him) so I am putting it off a week. But very soon, Griffin will be sleeping in his crib a floor away. I am missing him so much already!

Wish us luck tomorrow!


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