The Bravest

Well, I cried after dropping Griffin off at daycare today. For the first time ever, I literally wept.

I’ve mentioned before that Griffin has been extra shy at drop off. He doesn’t cry, he just clings. He maintains a death grip on my fingers or he hides behind my leg. Usually he looks nervous as I peel him off of me but there are no dramatics, and his teachers say he warms up immediately after seeing the door close behind me.

Not today.

Today he was extra clingy. He didn’t want me to put him down or fill out his sign in form. He didn’t want to play with any of the toys I gave him or look at his teachers. He just wanted to hold my hand. I tried to get him occupied with some musical instruments and then sneak out, but he caught me. He ran as fast as his little legs would carry him until he reached me at the door. And then when his teacher picked him up and I said goodbye, his eyes got huge and welled with tears. He didn’t cry. He tried to stay so brave. But I could see how sad and hurt he was. And I had to go.

There is something about seeing a tiny child, one who can barely speak, try to stay brave. It is completely heartbreaking in its unfairness. So I completely dissolved as soon as I got to the car. My poor, sweet boy.

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